Colours

If you had the choice, would you find out what your friends and family say about you when you are not around? Would you choose to know what others thought about you; good or bad? And if you did choose to find out, what would you do with that knowledge? Would you take the knowledge with you wherever you went letting it bring you down and burn bridges that you thought never could? Or would you just forgive and forget?

                As you may have guessed, the thought of what others think of me and how they view me has been on my mind lately. I will not lie and say that I do not care what anyone thinks of me, in fact I have cared about what others think for a good chunk of my life. And every second that I do spend caring I feel as if there is a burden that goes along with it. As of recent I have been doing my best to try and not let what others think of me take me into that worried/depressed/self-conscious state that I have visited more often than I would like. But, yesterday I was informed of how a good friend viewed me and it was this view that has led me to really question how others perceive me as a person.

                Do people see me as smart, friendly, and gentlemanly? Do they see me as an ignorant fool who does not know what he is talking about? Or do they think I am just the nice guy who finishes last? Honestly, I don’t know.  Nor do I feel like I would want to. But, there is a comforting light that I have found in all of this gloom.

               

                While I was listening to Pandora one of my favorite songs came on. It is by a band called GROUPLOVE and the song is titled “Colours”. I have heard this song many times before and I love it. However, I have never really have taken the time to understand it or its message. Until just a bit ago I finally took the time to really understand and listen to what the song was saying. And believe it or not the song really has spoken to me, especially concerning what I am talking about today.  The song as a whole has really comforted me, but there are some particular lyrics in this amazing song that really stood out for me. They are as follows:

“So I pull the switch, the switch, the switch inside my head.
And I see black, black, green,
and brown, brown, brown and blue, yellow, violets, red.
And suddenly a light appears inside my brain
And I think of my ways,
I think of my days
and know that I have changed.

It's the colors you have
No need to be sad.
It really ain't that bad.

It's the colors you have
No need to be sad.
You've still got your hand”

              

                 Personally what I take from this little part of the song and the whole song as well is that I am who I am. I do not need to see what others think of me as burdens. I have no real reason to be sad about how others see me. And that even though I feel brought down to my knees by it all, it really ain’t that bad.

                 The fact is, there is always going to be someone who sees me in a negative or not so flattering light. I cannot change that. All I can do is wear the colors I have as best I can and learn what I can on my journey through life.