As the title of this blog suggests, I have been having to make some pretty big decisions concerning my education and what direction I want my life to be going. I am not all too thrilled about all of this responsibility and pressure that comes with these decisions, but hey that's life. I am going to have to just suck it up and choose which path to take as best I can.
As far as my education goes, I am thinking that I may just have to ease on the gas pedal so to speak. The past several terms I have been so concerned with taking as many classes as I can to be able to graduate and move on. This mentality has both helped and hurt whatever classes I have taken in the past and I really did not think I was getting as much out of those classes as I should. Even though I was getting pretty decent grades, I just did the work and sped through the classes just wanting it all to be over. It is because of this why I have decided to drop a class from my current schedule. I figure if I am not going to get what I want out of the class then why continue, even if it would help me graduate.
I have also been preoccupied with the notion of getting work while taking the full load of classes I am taking now. Honestly though I do not have the confidence or multitasking talents to be able to do both, I know that some do, but I do not. I am actively looking for work now, and my search will only get more extensive once this term is over. I do not intend to just drop college where I am now, I have worked too hard to just leave it where it is now. I plan to just take one or two classes that are able to contribute to my graduation and work around that schedule with any job that I may find willing to do so. I feel that speeding through my schooling will do me more harm than good, so I will take it in sips rather than big gulps.
On a related note, I engaged in some pretty deep conversations concerning how I view humanity, race, spirituality, religion, and life in general. Yeah, I know. Pretty heavy stuff to be just bringing up in an everyday conversation. But, in this case the one I was having a conversation with was asking me questions for a class and thought I would help out, not initially knowing how detailed they would get with their questions. Had I known I would have said no in a heartbeat. Needless to say, I was extremely emotionally and mentally drained for the rest of the day. I had no motivation whatsoever and it didn't help that I had an essay due the next day. All that to say, I won't be talking about discussing anything too heavy on here or anywhere else for a little while.
I am at a cross road in my life and I intend on going one way or the other. Which way I go depends what going down that road will do to me the further I follow it. I am hoping that I have the wisdom to choose the right one.
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